I used to work in a customer support group with my cousin. We would write all kinds of stupid things–mostly haiku, but sometimes long-winded and completely non-sensical. Soda was a common subject, specifically Dr Pepper, but on rare occasion we targeted Coke and Pepsi, as evidenced by this fine piece of art:
a change in seasons of my life
used to do coke
then I went broke
my dealer wanted too much money
as well as my honey
but my honey was funny
dressed up like a big fluffy bunny
the new generation
solved the segregation
world peace for all
a big bright green rubber ball
Pepsi is nectar
just ask my friend Hector
he sleeps with his Pepsi but that’s too much information for this story so I better stop now before it gets really out of hand
don’t have a cow
don’t bury yourself in the sand
just drink your nectar
in an alien vector
Pepsi Pepsi Pepsi
nothing rhymes with Pepsi
unless maybe you don’t say Audrey Hepburn you say Hepsi
but that would sound kinda silly
drink your Pepsi with Billy
find a nice filly
don’t get caught like Milli Vanilli
make sure the tape won’t screw up in the middle of your performance and then you look like a retarded freak
drink Pepsi all week
don’t drink Coke like a geek
this rhymage is getting weak
so the moral of the story is to drink
lots of Pepsi even in the kitchen sink
I don’t really even like Pepsi, actually, but it’s nice to see some Paul Simon references in even the silliest of things. Can you spot them?