{"id":36,"date":"2004-06-21T18:35:04","date_gmt":"2004-06-22T00:35:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.grassmonk.net\/wordpress\/?p=36"},"modified":"2008-08-21T01:46:41","modified_gmt":"2008-08-21T07:46:41","slug":"sex-doesnt-sell-movies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.grassmonk.net\/blog\/2004\/06\/21\/sex-doesnt-sell-movies\/","title":{"rendered":"Sex doesn&#8217;t sell movies&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Green does.<\/p>\n<p>Take the following as examples of my theory:<\/p>\n<p>\n<em>Shrek<\/em>: Shrek himself<br \/>\n<em>Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles<\/em>: Raphael, with Michaelangelo running a close second<br \/>\n<em>Star Wars<\/em>: Yoda<br \/>\n<em>The Lord of the Rings<\/em>: The Dead Army, Pippin after too much pipeweed, and the DVD case for <em>The Fellowship of the Ring<\/em><br \/>\n<em>Spider-Man<\/em>: The Green Goblin<br \/>\n<em>Ghostbusters<\/em>: Slimer<br \/>\nThe <em>Muppet<\/em> movies: Kermit the Frog<br \/>\n<em>Hulk<\/em>: The Hulk<br \/>\n<em>How the Grinch Stole Christmas<\/em>: The Grinch<br \/>\n<em>VeggieTales<\/em>: Larry<br \/>\n<em>Monsters, Inc.<\/em>: Mike Wazowski<br \/>\n<em>Peter Pan<\/em>: Peter Pan<br \/>\n<em>Batman Forever<\/em>: The Riddler<br \/>\n<em>Elf<\/em>: Will Ferrell<\/p>\n<p>You&#8217;ll also notice that in the <em>Matrix<\/em> films that the picture has a green tint whenever the action is in the Matrix itself, which is where all the really good parts happen.<\/p>\n<p>You&#8217;ll <em>also<\/em> notice that with the exception of <em>Star Wars<\/em>, every single film listed above could have been <em>even better<\/em> with the addition of lightsaber fights.  <em>Star Wars<\/em> would better with more Yoda, as I will mention below.<\/p>\n<p>I don&#8217;t know what, exactly, my expectations were when I went to see <em>Shrek 2<\/em>, but I do know that it exceeded them handily.  The movie is better in every single way than the original, which is a hard thing for a sequel to do.  I think the key to <em>Shrek 2<\/em>&#8216;s success was its spot-on use of green.  The filmmakers were even smart enough to know when too much green was happening.  <strong>&#8211;SPOILER&#8211;<\/strong> I suspect this is the real reason for Shrek wanting to be human.  The whole &#8220;I just want to make Fiona happy&#8221; was just a an excuse for people who aren&#8217;t in touch with their inner Green-ness. <strong>&#8212; END SPOILER &#8212;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>One of the major reasons I think that the <em>Star Wars<\/em> prequels aren&#8217;t so well-liked is the disturbing underuse of Yoda.  Lightsaber battles compensated somewhat, but not enough, as the box office numbers clearly show.<\/p>\n<p>Apart from the Greenuity, <em>Shrek 2<\/em> was great for the following reasons:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Funnier than the first<\/li>\n<li>Fewer dirty jokes than the first<\/li>\n<li>A <em>Lord of the Rings<\/em> reference<\/li>\n<li>Antonio Banderas<\/li>\n<li>Better animation<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I could go on and on and on, but this is getting monotonous.  The only thing <em>Shrek 2<\/em> lacked, really, were lightsabers.  I&#8217;m hoping that with <em>Shrek 3<\/em> and <em>Shrek 4<\/em> on the horizon this small oversight will be corrected, and another timeless film saga will join the ranks of the likes of <em>The Lord of the Rings<\/em>, which could use a lightsaber or two of its own.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Green does. Take the following as examples of my theory: Shrek: Shrek himself Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Raphael, with Michaelangelo running a close second Star Wars: Yoda The Lord of the Rings: The Dead Army, Pippin after too much pipeweed, and the DVD case for The Fellowship of the Ring Spider-Man: The Green Goblin Ghostbusters: [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.grassmonk.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.grassmonk.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.grassmonk.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.grassmonk.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.grassmonk.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=36"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.grassmonk.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/36\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.grassmonk.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=36"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.grassmonk.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=36"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.grassmonk.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=36"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}