{"id":206,"date":"2014-06-21T21:34:48","date_gmt":"2014-06-22T03:34:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.grassmonk.net\/blog\/?p=206"},"modified":"2014-06-21T21:34:48","modified_gmt":"2014-06-22T03:34:48","slug":"poetism-commentary-thoughts-of-a-thursday-evening-three-weeks-later","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.grassmonk.net\/blog\/2014\/06\/21\/poetism-commentary-thoughts-of-a-thursday-evening-three-weeks-later\/","title":{"rendered":"Poetism Commentary: “Thoughts of a Thursday Evening, Three Weeks Later”"},"content":{"rendered":"

The poem in question: is here in this commentary, as promised before<\/a>.<\/p>\n

January 29, 1998. \u00a0This is just pure melodrama. \u00a0Heartfelt melodrama, but still melodrama. \u00a0I like the oblique references to Cried Out<\/a> and Insincerity<\/a>. \u00a0I cringe a little at poor teenage me who was so distraught over the never-ending battle against lusty thoughts.<\/p>\n

I think this is the part where
\nI say something completely heart-wrenching
\nand you cry out in pain for me
\nbut I’m the only one here to console myself
\nand I’m no good at consolation
\njust ask that guy at the supermarket
\nI’ve never consoled him
\nthe fact I’ve never met him is totally
\nbeside the point
\nthat’s not what I’m trying to illustrate here<\/p>\n

I am forsaken
\nnot really because I know you love me
\nbut sometimes I feel that way because of
\nwhat I’ve done
\nhow can I ever get rid of these thoughts
\nthey return to taunt me constantly
\nI can never be free
\nthey’re out to get me to make me lose control
\nof everything I’ve worked for strived for loved for
\nsometimes they succeed<\/p>\n

I am plagued by the constant reminder of
\nmy past and the difficulty of
\nthe present and the shadows of
\nthe future<\/p>\n

I need a bloody rewind button or
\nmaybe just a good slap to the head
\nand some words of encouragement
\nand an I love you<\/p>\n

someone save me from myself
\nI cannot do it on my own
\nI need guidance from another
\nbut I so often misapproach the possibilities
\nand stumble blindly where few have tread<\/p>\n

I’m so tired of being afraid
\nof never knowing what’s coming next
\nwhat bombardment lies in wait
\nlicking its lips in anticipation
\nfor my demise at its hands
\nplease oh please oh please let me be<\/p>\n

the tears are forming now
\nI can feel them burning within me
\nbut they can have no real release
\nnot one that means anything
\nI’ve forgotten how to truly weep
\nmaybe I should relearn<\/p>\n

my wall is thick and I am lonely
\nI yearn for you to hold me
\ntell me it’s okay
\ntell me I’ll make it
\nanother day<\/p>\n

please<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The poem in question: is here in this commentary, as promised before. January 29, 1998. \u00a0This is just pure melodrama. \u00a0Heartfelt melodrama, but still melodrama. \u00a0I like the oblique references to Cried Out and Insincerity. \u00a0I cringe a little at poor teenage me who was so distraught over the never-ending battle against lusty thoughts. I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.grassmonk.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/206"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.grassmonk.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.grassmonk.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.grassmonk.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.grassmonk.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=206"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.grassmonk.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/206\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.grassmonk.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=206"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.grassmonk.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=206"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.grassmonk.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=206"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}