{"id":198,"date":"2014-05-23T14:06:18","date_gmt":"2014-05-23T20:06:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.grassmonk.net\/blog\/?p=198"},"modified":"2016-05-19T13:40:56","modified_gmt":"2016-05-19T19:40:56","slug":"why-i-cant-believe-in-the-lds-church-anymore","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.grassmonk.net\/blog\/2014\/05\/23\/why-i-cant-believe-in-the-lds-church-anymore\/","title":{"rendered":"Why I can’t believe in the LDS church anymore"},"content":{"rendered":"

Note: This essay was originally finished on May 23, 2014 (hence the post date), with a few minor corrections to spelling, etc. since, but for Reasons remained unpublished here until December 17, 2014.<\/em><\/p>\n

I have also added some updates to my original text at the end of the post.\u00a0 Some updates were originally written with the intent of integrating them into the main text, so they may read a bit awkwardly by being separated out at the end.\u00a0 I’ve tried to clarify some of the text with brackets.
\n<\/em><\/p>\n

In the beginning<\/h3>\n

I have been struggling for some time with my beliefs in the teachings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.\u00a0 I have read much and studied much, and pondered back to previous experiences where I felt that the Holy Ghost was speaking to me.\u00a0 Ultimately, I have come to the conclusion that the Church is not the one true church of God.\u00a0 I can’t pinpoint exactly\u00a0what started my journey down the rabbit hole, I just know where I’ve arrived.<\/p>\n

There are many issues that have come to my attention.\u00a0 Some matter to me a great deal while others, though certainly damning to the Church, are of no great import to me particularly.\u00a0 Every organization has skeletons in the closet, and I cannot rationally believe that the LDS church could be otherwise: as the saying goes, “The Church is perfect, but the members are not.”\u00a0 I have always believed that; I was a missionary once and it goes hand in hand with the other saying: “If the Church weren’t true, the missionaries would have destroyed it by now.”\u00a0 Individually, there are many things I could overlook\u2014and have overlooked or otherwise explained away to myself.\u00a0 For example, I find that the lack of archaeological evidence for the Book of Mormon, or anachronisms or strange words like “curelom” really don’t bother me at all.\u00a0 Taken as an individual problem, I can accept a simplistic answer such as that our faith needs to be tried.\u00a0 Compounded with everything else, I find myself unable to bear the collective burden.<\/p>\n

Some of the things I have learned in my studying were, at first, no great surprise to me.\u00a0 I’ve read accounts of lifelong members saying they had never heard that Joseph Smith was a polygamist, for example.\u00a0 As a seminary student during my high school years, I was taught at least at the surface level some of the seemingly more troublesome aspects of the history of the church, but it was done in such a faith-promoting way that I never questioned that the story could be otherwise, or that important details had been omitted.\u00a0 I was stunned that these things didn’t seem to be common knowledge.\u00a0 Then again, I did grow up in Utah, and seminary was a daily class during school time; I probably had more exposure to things than members in other parts of the world where the Church is not such a prevalent part of everyday life.<\/p>\n

I would like now to write about the biggest issues for me (though as mentioned previously, there are many others to be found).\u00a0 As the Church would have its members receive information only from itself, I have tried to keep my sources for quotes only to official Church publications or web sites as far as possible, though there may be some “unofficial” links to be found (e.g. at FairMormon\u2014which I understand to be an unofficially supported pro-LDS apologist organization).\u00a0 This is not a “to whom it may concern” essay; rather it is an attempt to gather my thoughts for myself, to help me find clarity, and if it serves another purpose in answering the questions of others, so much the better.<\/p>\n

The prophets can<\/em> lead us astray, except they were just men of their times, so it’s okay<\/h3>\n

Perhaps one of the biggest deals about the Church, beyond its claim to be “the only true and living church upon the face of the whole earth” (Doctrine and Covenants 1:30<\/a>), is its claim to leadership by a living prophet, via direct revelation from God.\u00a0 This is a fantastic idea for believers.\u00a0 Indeed, it is also logical; if God did speak to men of biblical times, and He doesn’t change, then why would He not<\/em> continue the practice today?\u00a0 All my life, I have been taught that the Lord will never permit the prophet to lead the Church astray.\u00a0 This teaching is first and foremost found in canonized scripture:<\/p>\n

The Lord will never permit me or any other man who stands as President of this Church to lead you astray. It is not in the programme. It is not in the mind of God. If I were to attempt that, the Lord would remove me out of my place, and so He will any other man who attempts to lead the children of men astray from the oracles of God and from their duty. (Official Declaration 1<\/a>)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

There are several other expressions of this teaching throughout the history of the Church.\u00a0 Joseph Fielding Smith, while President of the Church, said:<\/p>\n

I think there is one thing which we should have exceedingly clear in our minds. Neither the President of the Church, nor the First Presidency, nor the united voice of the First Presidency and the Twelve will ever lead the Saints astray or send forth counsel to the world that is contrary to the mind and will of the Lord. (“Eternal Keys and the Right to Preside,” April 1972 General Conference<\/a>)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

J. Reuben Clark, Jr., a counselor the First Presidency, said:<\/p>\n

You will never make a mistake by following the instructions and the counsel of him who stands at the head as God’s mouthpiece on earth. (Conference Report, October 1945, page 166; quoted in Religion 324-325 manual Doctrine and Covenants<\/em>, 1981 edition, page 391.\u00a0 The quotes in this manual also appear to be cited in the current edition<\/a>.)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

As an apostle, Ezra Taft Benson said:<\/p>\n

Keep your eye on the Prophet, for the Lord will never permit his Prophet to lead this Church astray.\u00a0 Let us live close to the Spirit, so we can test all counsel. (Conference Report, October 1966, page 123; quoted in Religion 324-325 manual, page 391)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Harold B. Lee, President of the Church, said:<\/p>\n

I bear you my solemn witness that we have a living prophet, seer, and revelator.\u00a0 We are not dependent only upon the revelations given in the past… we have a mouthpiece to whom God is revealing his mind and will.\u00a0 God will never permit him to lead us astray.\u00a0 As has been said, God would remove us out of our place if we should attempt to do it.\u00a0 You have not concern. (“The Place of the Living Prophet, Seer, and Revelator,” Charge<\/em>, page 112; quoted in Religion manual 333 Teachings of the Living Prophets<\/em>, 1982 edition, page 15)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

As an apostle, Marion G. Romney said:<\/p>\n

I remember years ago when I was a bishop I had President [Heber J.] Grant talk to our ward.\u00a0 After the meeting, I drove him home….\u00a0 When we got to his home I got out of the car and went up on the porch with him.\u00a0 Standing by me, he put his arm over my shoulder and said: “My boy, you always keep your eye on the President of the Church, and if he ever tells you to do anything, and it is wrong, and you do it, the Lord will bless you for it.”\u00a0 Then with a twinkle in his eye, he said, “But you don’t need to worry.\u00a0 The Lord will never let his mouthpiece lead the people astray.” (Conference Report, October 1960, page 78; quoted in Religion 333 manual, page 15)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Another apostle, Delbert L. Stapley, said:<\/p>\n

Safety is in following divinely appointed leadership and counsel….<\/p>\n

The keys of this power and authority center in the president of the High Priesthood of the Church.\u00a0 It is not given to any other man to so represent God here upon the earth….<\/p>\n

God will not suffer his Church, established for the last time in this the Dispensation of the Fulness of Times when a restitution of all things is to be accomplished, to be led by a fallen prophet, or by someone whom he does not want. (Conference Report, April 1952, pages 49-50; quoted in Religion 333 manual, page 15)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Finally, from Church President Joseph F. Smith, as an apostle:<\/p>\n

I testify in the name of Israel’s God that He will not suffer the head of the Church, him whom He has chosen to stand at the head, to transgress His laws and apostatize; the moment he should take a course that would in time lead to it, God would take him away.\u00a0 Why?\u00a0 Because to suffer a wicked man to occupy that position would be to allow, as it were, the fountain to become corrupted, which is something He will never permit. (Journal of Discourses<\/em>, 24:192; quoted in Religion 333 manual, page 15)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I find the last quote particularly interesting, because it says that if the prophet even starts to do something that would eventually <\/em>lead the Church astray, God would remove him from the position.<\/p>\n

The idea that the prophet cannot lead us astray has been reinforced as recently as a few years ago.\u00a0 The June 1981 Liahona<\/em> reprinted a 1980 address called “Fourteen Fundamentals in Following the Prophet,”<\/a> given at BYU by Ezra Taft Benson (then the President of the Quorum of the Twelve).\u00a0 This talk includes two of the quotes I used above (Official Declaration 1 from Wilford Woodruff, and Marion G. Romney).\u00a0 The October 2010 General Conference had two<\/em> talks that referenced “Fourteen Fundamentals”: “Obedience to the Prophets”<\/a> by Claudio R.M. Costa, and “Our Very Survival”<\/a> by Kevin R. Duncan.\u00a0 Both men were then members of the Seventy, and both talks specifically mention that “The prophet will never lead the Church astray.”<\/p>\n

Clearly the prophet is God’s man, and is someone whom we can trust to give us accurate counsel and direction.\u00a0 However, of course this doesn’t mean that the prophet is infallible.\u00a0 I have never believed that.\u00a0 A reading of the Doctrine and Covenants shows many instances of Joseph Smith being reprimanded by God for doing some dumb thing or another.\u00a0 He repented, and kept being the prophet, just like any regular person repents and does better next time.\u00a0 The key concept is that when the prophet speaks to the Church membership at large, following what he says to do will always be for our good.\u00a0 We won’t be “led astray.”\u00a0 When the servant of the Lord speaks His words, it is the same as if the Lord himself has spoken (Doctrine and Covenants 1:38<\/a>).<\/p>\n

Joseph Smith said:<\/p>\n

A prophet was a prophet only when he was acting as such. (History of the Church<\/em>, 5:265; quoted in Religion 324-325 manual, page 391)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Okay, so how do I know when a prophet is acting as a prophet?\u00a0 Apostle John A. Widtsoe comments on this:<\/p>\n

That statement makes a clear distinction between official and unofficial actions and utterances of officers of the Church.\u00a0 In this recorded statement the Prophet Joseph Smith recognizes his special right and duty, as the President and Prophet of the Church, under the inspiration of the Lord, to speak authoritatively and officially for the enlightenment and guidance of the Church.\u00a0 But he claims also the right, as other men, to labor and rest, to work and play, to visit and discuss, to present his opinions and hear the opinions of others, to counsel and bless as a member of the Church. (Evidences and Reconciliations<\/em>, 1:182; quoted in Religion 324-325 manual, page 391)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

That’s fair enough; a prophet has as much of a right to some down time as anyone else.\u00a0 But wait\u2014and the manual emphasizes this\u2014Widtsoe goes on to say that<\/p>\n

unofficial expressions [of a prophet] carry greater weight than the opinions of other men of equal or greater gifts and experience but without the power of the prophetic office….<\/p>\n

…The unofficial views and expressions of such a man with respect to any vital subject, should command respectful attention. (Evidences and Reconciliations,<\/em> 1:183-84; quoted in Religion 324-325 manual, page 391)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

So have the prophets ever led the Church astray?\u00a0 Either they have, and the scriptures and other teachings (from prophets and apostles) that they cannot are false; or they have not, but current practices of the Church have invalidated past statements, therefore casting doubt on past prophets’ prophetic qualifications and abilities. \u00a0 In both cases, what is the point of having a prophet anyway?\u00a0 The situation that bothers me the most is that of withholding the priesthood from black men.<\/p>\n

Firstly, I must say that I do not necessarily find the past ban against priesthood eligibility (and by extension, temple attendance) to be without precedent.\u00a0 Historically, God has only allowed certain groups of people to hold the priesthood.\u00a0 It seems reasonable to me (at least, on the surface) that a particular group could be withheld from its ranks, because God said so.\u00a0 If we believe that the prophet speaks for God, and that the prophet says that God wants a group of people not to have the priesthood, then there must be a reason, even if we don’t know what that reason is (or it seems bizarre).\u00a0 God said it, and we can trust that He knows what He is doing.<\/p>\n

The problem is, I don’t think that’s what happened.<\/p>\n

In 2013, the Church released a new edition of the scriptures<\/a>, for the first time since 1981.\u00a0 (Technically, that is not true, since in 2004 and 2006 the Church updated the Introduction to the Book of Mormon<\/a> to eliminate a reference to the Bible containing the “the fulness of the everlasting gospel” and to relegate the Lamanites from being the “principal ancestors of the American Indians” to just “among [their] ancestors.”\u00a0 This Deseret News article<\/a> has some details.)\u00a0 The updated heading to Official Declaration 2<\/a> in the Doctrine and Covenants reads:<\/p>\n

During Joseph Smith\u2019s lifetime, a few black male members of the Church were ordained to the priesthood. Early in its history, Church leaders stopped conferring the priesthood on black males of African descent. Church records offer no clear insights into the origins of this practice.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The last sentence is a slippery one.\u00a0 As background, in late 2013\u2014the same year the scriptures were updated\u2014the Church began publishing new, anonymously-produced essays in the Gospel Topics<\/a> section of its web site, without fanfare.\u00a0 There are several of these to date:<\/p>\n